That’s right. It’s been all over TV, radio, newspapers, the Internet, Spotify, and even an army of people have added the link to their email signatures. Next week has been billed as possibly the most important 11 days to date for the fate of the Earth.

It’s about climate change. Usually I like to simplify the global political mess that is the whole climate change issue by thinking of there being two groups of people. It would be unfair to say one of these groups care, and one doesn’t. As of course every single person living on the planet, cares about it. If I told you I was going to demolish your house tomorrow, would you ask me not to? Everyone cares about the survival of the planet, but there are people who believe that their survival and climate change are linked, and people who don’t. Personally I’m one of the believers. There are a lot of things governments lie to their public about these days, a lot. We all know this. But I really can’t see the gain anyone can get from lying about this kind of evidence. So in this instance, if they say it, I believe it.

It’s not just that. I’m willing to admit that every Government lies to it’s people, be it a huge Watergate scandal type affair, or simply someone saying they’re going to put more money into healthcare when they don’t really have a clue how. So I’m completely willing to admit that I might be wrong about this. Climate change and Global Warming and all the jazz, might just be a big hoo-hah about nothing, designed to get more money from us, or to take our minds away from one thing or another, or just to sway votes in an upcoming election. But if you take out all the politics, the governments, the scandals and the politicians themselves, what are you left with?

The suggestion that releasing waste (which we know is harmful to us and other living things) into the atmosphere (a living thing), is bad, and will result in a bad time for us, is pretty damn simple. It is this more than anything that I tend to think about when I empty a kettle of excess water before boiling, or reach for the recycling bag instead of the bin.

Recycling and general power-saving is a big point for the reduction of emissions. These are both procedures than can help the cause on ‘ground level’, and one of the items I hope to be discussed over the course of next week. These kinds of ‘green issues’ have been in politics since the late 80s. We’ve known that we were fucking things up well before the Kyoto Protocol brought everyone together in one place, and first said ‘Right let’s sit down and really fix this shit we’re in’.

Back in Kyoto, 1997, everyone knew something had to be done. When I say ‘everyone’ I of course am referring to everyone bar the United States, who remain one of only two countries not to agree to stop shitting all over everyone else. (The other country [out of the entire planet] not to agree is Puerto Rico). It’s as if the U.S. have signed the treaty, and said they’re all up for stopping shitting on people, just after this last really big one, which they insist on doing right in the face.

So with everyone (apart from the U.S. and Puerto Rico) in agreement, what happened? Well a lot happened. Agreed we’re not hitting the global targets we decided on, (in fact global emissions have apparently increased). But you first have to stop a ship sinking before it can be fixed. At least emissions are increasing at a much slower rate. The groundwork is there. 1997, the world was faced with a mammoth task, but thanks to Al Gore, (and in part even George Bush Jr.) and vegetarians the world over, ‘Green Issues’, far from the poncy, tree-hugging, hippy persona of the past, are now cool. Hollywood A-listers drive Hybrid cars (which are more harmful than many similar small cars), but they’re ambassadors for thinking, and being green. With celebrities, come people, with people, come companies. If people are more in favour of a company that is acting with green issues in mind, companies are forced to listen. Governments are forced to at least pretend to be interested, and actually have to follow through with it, they can’t just avert everyone’s attention by starting a bloody war (again). It’s true, the overall power is with the people. And over the past 12 years, the seesaw of the two groups is now planted solidly in the mud.

Ok then… Hard part over. Opinions have changed. Everyone wants to recycle, wants to waste less, to fly, and drive, and shoot pandas, less. But it’s hard. Harder than it’s worth. I read the other day that Gordon Brown plans to suggest an initiative where people are paid (by the government) to recycle. This means spending government money on ‘encouraging people to recycle’. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If you want the X-Factor watching, Heat reading residents of the British Isles to agree to something, just get a celebrity/naked lady to stand next to it. Because these days celebrities and naked ladies are one and the same thing, and standing for green issues is so cool, getting a celebrity to endorse environmental issues is easier than shooting one huge barrel-shaped fish, in a tiny barrel. Why the fuck spend money on encouraging people to do something they already want to do, when it means you won’t have the money to be able to take advantage of them wanting to do it!? Once the people agree they should recycle, or use public transport, why not make sure the recycling gets collected? Or there is a bus they can get onto without waiting for 2 hours.

Sound stupid?

Trouble with all the environmental talk I keep hearing more and more of these days, is that’s all that’s happening. I’m hearing about it. I’m not seeing bugger all. It’s all talk. “We should do that.” “We need to do this.” What this thing needs is for someone with some balls to make a fucking decision!

“Let’s put this huge amount of money into Windfarms.” Not “We should invest in Windfarms.” But actually signing the cheque and saying “Off you go. Do it.” Otherwise we’ll be right back in the same place with our heads up our fucking arses, looking stupidly at each other, shrugging, saying “I don’t know… should we maybe do something about this?” Whilst we’re all living on slowly floating cubes of ice!

Let’s Turn Copenhagen Into Hopenhagen – Brought to you by James Wormald -