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Children. Kids. Little Ones. Rascals. Terrors. Bastards.
Just like Satan, there are many names for them. The question asked by a growing number of people. What’s the attraction?
Other than an animalistic species-driven responsibility to continue the human race, why does anyone feel the need? There is in an in-built interest in the whole process. Of course there is. If not, it would only be left solely down to social responsibility… the same as giving money to charity.
Earth’s population recreation activities would be in the hands of only the most generous, self-less people on the planet. Now Paris Hilton is after a baby, we can see irrefutable proof this is not the case.
So why be a Mother/Father? How do you define/specify that oh very mysterious of things Maternal/Paternal instinct? Unfortunately I can’t in all good conscience attempt to suggest my knowledge of maternal instinct is anything other than embarrassingly small. I can sadly only quote back very typical, possibly misogynistic views (probably originally devised by a man) on the subject that it’s to do with caring for something. Having something become so dependant on you… To feel that useful, that required, that essential to the survival of another human being… to feel that amount of unconditional love in something you yourself have created.
This is a common view most (not just men) of the uninitiated have of parents, or hopeful parents. Whilst I agree, that it would be nice to feel this kind of responsible control over something so huge as a person’s soul…. I do see it as quite an arrogant, perhaps narcissistic view to have – especially if it’s not additional to other opinions, or at least further ones.
Personally I can’t wait to have children of my own. (obviously this statement is not literal. If it was I’d be camping out down the maternity wing of Whipps Cross Hospital). But assuming I’ve been gifted the right person, enough income to support a growing family… and enough security to be able to provide a stable environment suitable for a nurturing lifestyle… Bring it On!
I think the paternal instinct is based on being able to literally see part of yourself in something/one else (not literally see but know it’s there). This occurs instantly in physical characteristics of said new-born, but also in what you can teach and indeed learn from each other respectively.
Fathers offer children their experience of the world. This is so that the child becomes as learned, and as associatively experienced as the parent. Often vital information of enough coming-of-age subjects to fill 5 American Pie films is input into the child’s brain. In return for this eternal wisdom, the Child repays the father, by letting him.
Even this (especially I believe from a father’s) is a common point of view to have. What is not so common is the actual exchange of information, of experience. Everyone was a baby once, these people were also once children, teenagers and young-adults. However this is something many adults seem to forget. As soon as fun-loving, young professionals have children, they become parents. These parents have not only lost their fun-loving ways. They have also forgotten all knowledge of ever being having them.
In this country where 2 parents can easily work 50+ hours a week each, enjoy a meagre 20 days holiday a year (18 of which are spent either relaxing from the week previous, or worrying about the coming week, and all the work they have to catch up on). How does anyone manage to retain their youthful playfulness. They don’t. It takes a child, to teach their parents an old-school innocence of looking at the world through fresh eyes.
If children ruled the world… There would be no racism. There would be equal rights for every race, every religion, every person. There would be no war, no torture. These are the kinds of lessons children have to teach the world, as well as the lesson of always wanting to learn more.
People ask me why I want to have children… To which I answer, ‘It’s what everyone should want more than anything… to be a better person.’
I’m the Daddy - Brought to you by James Wormald -