Reviews
I’ve seen Star Trek. There’s no point denying it. I think we all have and this will be much easier on all of us if we just get out of the way now that we’ve seen it. Ok? A lot of people look down on Sci-Fi based TV. It is incredibly nerdy. Even for me sometimes. I mean I like the new Doctor Who but even being there when James asked the girl behind the counter [had to be a girl didn’t it?!] for two tickets to Star Trek I felt a pang of shame. It’s just... it’s not that cool, is it?
Or rather it wasn’t.
Re-imagining Star Trek with a whole new cast [almost all of whom suffer from “I’ve seen that guy in stuff” syndrome] is J.J Abrams, the worthless fucker who continues to bring you series after bewildering series of LOST. His last movie effort, on which he was the writer, was Cloverfield, which I liked. A great deal. This time he’s helming [a poncy way of saying he’s the director] as well as Producing so you’d think that if what you get when he gives something his full attention is LOST, surely the product of a split focus will be worse than waking up to discover that you’re McG.
As it turns out... no. Star Trek [2009] is good. Really good, actually, and despite the dude in front of me bobbing his head around like a paranoid owl I enjoyed it a great deal. The new cast, including Heroes mainstay Zachary Quinto [here playing Spock in all his bowl cut Liza Manelli eyebrowed glory], Chris Pine [as new Kirk, sure to get spat on by Shatner in the street any minute now] and some other people you know from stuff. The one who isn’t The Rock from Doom plays Bones McCoy, the Korean dude from Harold and Kumar as Sulu and Simon Pegg as Scotty. Good stuff.
The movie concerns the origins of the Enterprise crew, focusing largely on Spock and Kirk although the other characters still feel pretty well rounded, and how they get together in the first place. The sticky wicket to overcome in this picture is a time travelling Romulan called Nero, played by Eric “Don’t Mention Hulk” Bana. He’s all pissed because his planet gets evaporated and what he wants more than Ang Lee’s horrible death is the horrible death of one Mr Spock. However... this is where things get clever... not the original Spock.
Without wanting to ruin anything for those who’ve not seen it yet, there’s a very nice plot device inserted into the script to explain the differences from established Star Trek canon. You see Nero has come back in time, and his very existence 150 odd years in the past has effed up the timeline and created a divergent timeline, much like Marty McFly did in Back to the Future. In this universe Kirk didn’t know his father and this colours his character throughout. He’s ultimately the same Kirk, but it allows for personality differences without fanboys going ape shit. Too much anyway, because if they like anything more than Doritos it’s complaining.
So this is Star Trek, but it’s not trying to replace or tape over the original. The writers [Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci, who also knocked out Transformers, The Island and The Legend of Zorro, so not really the best back catalogue if you’re gonna start boasting] have established that this is a new universe, a new canon and therefore new characters. Now they can pretty much change whatever they want, and they do, but since they’ve shown you the back door you can hardly accuse them of doing it under the cloak.
The effects are pretty stunning, but I’ve never put too much focus on those unless they’re shite. I watch movies for the story and to be entertained and on both counts I left the theatre grinning.
If I HAD to nit-pick, and I do, my gripes would be as follows:
Nero’s aims are fairly diffuse. He wants to avenge the destruction of his planet and the failure of Spock Prime [do you see?] to save it by destroying the universe essentially... rather than, I dunno... stopping Romulus from getting destroyed in the first place what with his 154 year head start on disaster. I’m sure the ill-conceived plan will be explained away via “madness” but it still grated on me a little that no one on the guys ship thought to mention going another way with things.
The movie has a little “King Kong Peril-Chain” issue, in as much as they leap from one dangerous sequence to the next for about half an hour with no let up, and after a while you get to thinking “OH COME ON!” whenever they’re attacked... again.
Simon Pegg... who I love by the way... has come to work his Pegg Face on as usual. He’s the man of one character, playing Simon Pegg with a Scottish Accent in this movie the same as he played Simon Pegg with an American accent in Big Nothing and Simon Pegg out of his depth in Mission Impossible III [also written by Kurtzman and Orci, by the way, and Directed by Abrams]. His role is far too... funny, if that makes sense as a criticism, and he is funny don’t get me wrong, but I just wanted more from the character I guess.
A voice-over cameo from Heroes “Matt Parkman” Greg Grunberg added a good bit of geek out value for me, and remembering that Chris Pine played Darwin Tremor in Smokin’ Aces was a pleasant bit of trivia, but without having watched very much of the original Trek I got the feeling that I was missing out on a lot of references which took something away for me. That’s not really a bad thing, and I’d be the first to enjoy references if this was a Spider-Man movie or something, but there are a lot of them. You can still enjoy the flick without getting them, as I did, but you will be sat there often thinking that there’s a great joke being told about someone you haven’t met.
Overall I’m pretty high on this movie as if it mattered I suggest you go see it if you can. Chances are by the time this is being read by anyone the sequel will have been announced, and with my jaded Trek bigotry washed away I will be looking forward to its release... even if I will still feel lamer than Tiny Tim’s legs when I ask for my tickets.
Star Trek - Brought to you by Gazz Wood -