Why the fuck is Scrubs back?

Earlier this year the once excellent [up until about season 4] TV show Scrubs finished it's 8 year run, having been cancelled on its original channel between series' 6 and 7 only to get picked back up again elsewhere and slowly die for two more seasons. The last episode very nearly almost recaptured some of the funny, poignant and heartfelt drama/comedy of the first series [which I recently re-watched and is excellent, incidentally]. It was as close an approximation to a proper send off that the show could have gotten at that point, and I enjoyed it. I was glassy eyed by the closing montage of the future, showing how all the principal characters carry on with their lives, getting married and having kids... it was delightful.

So when I hit up my usual favourite perfectly legal television attainment website and discover ‘Scrubs.S09E01.MEGADICK-XVID’ staring back at me [along with episode two no less] I had to do some research. "Surely not," I actually said out loud to myself, "I must be mistaken. Maybe someone's uploading the final series again. Yeah, that must be it. It ended on series 9 right?"

Wrong. It ended, as above, on series 8. We are talking a brand new series less than a year after they did it damn near the justice it used to deserve. Why are you doing this to us Bill Lawrence?!

We open with JD returning to his old hospital, Sacred Heart, despite having quit to work at another hospital closer to his son in a decision that took him two full episodes to make. Now he's back, having been unable in the last 8 months to find any other acting work, but things are not quite as they seem. The original hospital in which series 1 - 8 were set has been torn down [because the production team thought the show was honest to God finished and so didn't bother to renew the lease] and has been inexplicably rebuilt on the grounds of a local medical school.

OH NO! What will JD do without his close knit group of friends to support and guide him through oh no wait there they are.

Turk, Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso are all for some reason teaching at this Med School. It seems that even though he was made Chief of Medicine in series 8, Dr. Cox has plenty of time to perform a task so hugely out of character it makes my head spin. Turk was made Head of Surgery too, which seems to make no difference to his being able to become a professor at a medical school. Kelso retired for fucks sakes and he's back too!

Why?

‘NEVER MIND EVERYONE’, screams Bill Lawrence from atop his money pile, ‘JUST LISTEN TO THE VOICE OVER AND PRETEND THIS IS SERIES 2!!!!’

The voice over, obviously, is still around, but because they wanted to ‘make things seem new’ they've gone a different way with it. Or rather, no they haven't. In the spirit of newness all we get is the voice over of new character Lucy on top of JD's. So... two voice overs. It's original! Right?!

The new characters are fairly rubbish so I won't go in to them as much as to say that they're Med students who cross paths with the main characters. Some of them. Oh yes, because they're not all back ladies and gentleman. In the first episode we see a heavily pregnant Elliot talking to her interns... and that's it. She doesn't come back in either of the first two episodes. Reading her wikipedia page for this season I discovered that Elliot will only be in a handful of episodes, Dr Kelso only shows up for two or three and even JD is fucking off around the episode 6 mark.

As such we are talking an entirely new show with an entirely new cast [apart from Dr Cox and Turk who are gonna be like Egon in the Extreme Ghostbusters, being the only cast members from the original show to return in recurring characters] which means no Carla [and that means ever. She's not gonna be in the show at all. Not even as a guest star] and more importantly no Janitor!

NO... JANITOR!

Neil Flynn appears in one scene of the first episode, handing over his broom and walking away in an act which should have been aped by absolutely everyone else. Fuck, even Ted The Lawyer is only gonna pop in for a cameo because he is, and I'm quoting "ready to move on".

TED IS MOVING ON! FUCK ME RUNNING!

This is not the same show, and apparently it's not supposed to be. Zach Braff has been quoted as saying he's only involved in the first few episodes as a transition from him to new girl Lucy as the narrator. She's not bad... really. She's more Elliot than she is JD and thus far in the series none of the other students have really spoken to her. I'm not sure how this makes her the main character, but maybe it will become clear later on. Yes, I'm gonna keep watching this show. Why would I do this to myself?

I'm really not sure. I usually have an incredibly low tolerance for God awful TV, especially comedy. I only lasted 5 minutes trying to sit through that BBC show about the Scottish caravan park and not even a full sketch of the way through The Wrong Door, but I have a soft spot for Scrubs. I have watched every episode, even the shitty ones during season 6.

And 7... and 8.

Chances are I will continue to hate on it and probably wind up writing more things about how shit it is, yet I will also continue to watch it. And this is the problem. Because people like me exist so will Scrubs: Med School [yes... this is what it's called. The new title sequence, with the same song done by a new band who don't know how to play instruments or sing in tune, has the old X-Ray on the light board deal but actually says ‘Med School’ in the bottom right hand corner. Like they're ashamed of it]

And they should be.